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\chapter{Journaling}
Yes, yes yes... I know that I have a item I was going to add to this
and a whole thing about, ``Who are we?'' which I am avoiding writing.
I get the desire to write the previous thing about sales first, because
that was very much the topic of what was on our mind, when we were
sitting down to get something down here.
This about journaling wasn't really on our mind, it's just we
don't feel inspired to write directly about who we are right now.
Maybe we'll totally skip that. Because you know, it's not something
that we like to really consider directly because it always feels not
right.
So, let's talk about journaling, rather than talking about ourselves
directly.
I don't really want to fully dive into this, I have started a project
already that kind of has sat sadly for... Months, maybe over a year,
maybe even over 2 years.
I want to sort of cover a few different things with journaling:
\begin{itemize}
\item{Why Journal?}
\begin{itemize}[nosep]
\item{Self Communication}
\item{Getting Things Done}
\item{Understanding Self}
\item{Understanding World}
\end{itemize}
\item{How we journal}
\begin{itemize}[nosep]
\item{Bullet Journal}
\item{Just Writing}
\item{Script Writing}
\end{itemize}
\end{itemize}
Dang, that was a longer list than I thought it would be, so let's get
started
\section{Why Journal?}
This is something that honestly I'm sure there are at least as many
reasons as there are people journaling. Which? Um, that sort of seems
a bit odd, as what I'm talking about here is probably some fairly generic
reasons.
These are reasons that I have for why I try to journal (and sometimes
actually succeed at it). They aren't really the only reason's, but we
have to start somewhere, and we have to not overwhelm ourselves and our
gentle (or not so gentle) readers.
\subsection{Self Communication}
This well... Self? Maybe that's hitting us a bit weird... Selves?
System? Well maybe System is better then.\todo{Make this better with
more direct use of something along the lines of system.}
This will probably (hopefully) get edited, but I don't want to go back
and do that right now... Remember, ``This will be terrible,'' from the
introduction. It's not our goal with the thing, it is more an invitation
for ourselves to be accepting as we are capable of, of it not being
perfect. Especially for it not to be perfect as we are working on it.
So... {\it System Communication}, then. We use journaling for system
communication, to have ourselves better able to understand what's going
on with the system as a whole.\todo{Something about Simply Plural and
Discipline App}
This ends up coming out in a few different ways, and more details about
how this comes out in the different ways I've listed as ``How we
journal.''
The thing we're noticing is that actually a lot of the why and the
how end up interacting. We were thinking that the ``Bullet Journal,''
type format didn't have to do with much more than getting things done.
And with looking at this, even the just getting things done of the
``Bullet Journal'' format (Can we call it BJ? Let's at least for
now.)\todo{Is BJ OK?} at least for us, involves system communication.
Why do I say that? Well, I could write something down as Jigme that
I want to get done, and then Moddy shows up, but wasn't aware of that
and they can look at that, and go ahead and get it done.
The other aspects felt a lot more like they were directly related to
the ``internal communication'' aspect, as that is pretty much the direct
purpose of them.
So, what about getting things done?
\subsection{Getting Things Done}
This feels all of a sudden what I said about how the ``just writing,''
and ``script writing,'' are basically about just internal communication
that they have to be also connected with the getting things done aspect
as well.
The way they help with that may actually come up further down the way,
but basically because they are about the communication, they can help
with understanding as to what needs to be done.
So, wait, we were talking about why? I guess that means I really
need to talk about the executive function issues.\todo{yep this is a
chapter too.}
It easily can take 3 days to do a single load of laundry with just
the general inability to remember that is what is going on (it's not
right in front of us, and sometimes the person fronting, is not the
person who put the laundry in), and often when remembering, promptly
getting interrupted by things outside of our system (people, phone,
computer, dog, et cetera).
Properly noting this stuff can be a huge help in cutting that time to
more like reasonable levels.
Does it happen? Rarely, but hey a system can dream can't they?
What about the other things that I've got in that lovely list up
there $\uparrow$ (and for me over there $\rightarrow$ (yes I just
spent several minutes getting the arrows to show up acceptably)),
maybe let's look at them?
\subsection{Understanding Self}
OK, before I go too far with this, I feel that in our case, we're needing
to split this into the self and the system, so let's do that.
Well, maybe a bit about this before going to that. It might seem obvious
now that this makes sense, but when I wrote the list above, it really
did not. I didn't really see that this was different, but in writing,
found that it really is.
It's really very difficult to express what's going on in a way that
actually fully expresses this. As I type a single word, there's like
five different sentences going on that may or may not shift what's
happening with the greater thought pattern.
Every so often enough of what's happening has a, ``click'' type moment
where something comes up that needs to be noted. Sometimes that ends
up working out, other times it doesn't.
It can be easier to get some of these thoughts better to come out
when working with a physical medium like a pen and paper (how I like
to have my journals when I'm managing that), than it is when trying
to express stuff on the computer.
So, that's what happened to bring this to realising that this is actually
important to pull into a more clear that the individual self, and the
system are connected, but not the same.
\subsubsection{Understanding the Individual}
This would be something which figuring out how certain patterns with
certain members of the system are there.
This seems like it may have been a significant breakdown in counselling
when we've gone through it, as the counsellor (and ourselves) lacked the
understanding that talking to Jigme about something that happened when
Little One was fronting, can be next to useless.
Until Jigme understands Little One, it is like me trying to explain
why you went into do the thing you did. And, if you really want to
understand, no matter how much Jigme understands about what Little
One did, they can't explain as well as Little One can themselves.
So, getting what Little One, or Jigme, or Samantha to understand what
they are going through, and why they are doing the things they are
doing, is very much a step in getting stuff so that the system
as a whole better understands what's going on.
Which is very much a place to transition to more specifically speaking
about understanding the system.
\subsubsection{Understanding the System}
We're taking a break right now, will get back to you shortly, need to
step away a bit.
Ah, we're back... That helped. Now, I got into some of what I'm talking
about how figuring out how an individual member of the system helps with
understanding the system as a whole, but that sort of is not the whole
thing about understanding the system.
Like it is a lot different to understand how every individual in a
classroom is behaving, than it is to understand how the classroom as
a whole is working. It's a bit of a difference between considering
things from a psychological versus a group psychology or sociology
view.
I'm not sure I can wholely say more about it than that without trying
to do it, and ending up going through a long rambling discussion that
quite possibly doesn't even get any further along than I already have.
Let's move to the next thing about understanding the world.
\subsubsection{Understanding the World}
This is more a matter (at least for me), about understanding how I'm
fitting in the world, but it can be more general in just understanding
the dynamics of the world.
In the ``Are you going to sell this?'' chapter, I talked a bit about how
that works out, around the idea of collectivism versus individualism,
and about capitalism. I didn't go into detail about how I got there,
or really in any level of detail about the topics, but just enough
to maybe start to think about those topics yourself (if you have
not already been).
So, it does end up being a somewhat useful thing in doing that, and
any of these tools which I'm about to go into can be part of that.
\section{How We Journal}
This will have to wait until some other time...
I guess it's a fairly simple thing, but I was just done whenever I
paused there. So, there's basically three different ways that I do my
journaling. Doing the Bullet Journal (BulJo? I think that might be a
form used to refer to it, but ah not really sure?)\todo{ah Bujo, that's
actually official}, then just writing portions out, and writing
scripts.
This certainly won't go into the full details of any of these methods,
just give a bit about how I do them, and how they kind of address the
why above.
\subsection{Bullet Journal\textsuperscript{\tiny\textregistered}
(Bujo\textsuperscript{\tiny\textregistered})}
Bujo\textsuperscript{\tiny\textregistered}, was created by Ryder
Carroll, to help deal with his ADHD, (or maybe to deal with his egotism,
and not in a good way), technically it's not an open system, but also
technically there's a lot of information publicly available officially.
It's not clear really what the status of the trademark, and his
enforcing of it is, if he is enforcing it, and finds I dared to mention
his product and mention that I use it, well I guess this section will
change ... It's why I decided to create my series on journaling (that
never got very far).
So, he uses a system that works for him. He's making money off that
system, and as he's trademarked it, no one can use the name in anything
which would be considered to be a commercial product.
I've run into this attitude with other systems meant to help people.
Someone ends up making money from it, and also preventing the spread
of it in a ``legal'' way, as they somehow consider that it's so important
that it be protected.
I've had very strange issues with the use of
WordPress\textsuperscript{\tiny\textregistered}, because even though
what I was doing was saying, ``we are using this product,'' you can't
actually say that (depends on who it is to some extent), if what you are
doing is considered commercial.\todo{What is commercial?}
Anyway, the system (which is trademarked not patented, it can't really
be), is a decent system, but it's not really open.
And, apparently he doesn't respect the IP of other people...
It really feels like a huge faff that he's making a decent amount of
money from, just get yourself a blank notebook, do what you can, and
check out even his videos, or other instruction.
It's a great system for getting stuff done. But really it comes down
to, ``keep it simple,'' ``make it your own.''
Yes, he's got some specifics. But those specifics are basically, a
20 minute video worth, or a single double sided A4/Letter paper to
explain enough to take it into something that you can take further.
So, let's move to something that I'm more comfortable talking as a
way I'm doing stuff (because I don't have any term associated with
it that I am aware is considered proprietary).
\subsection{Just Writing}
This isn't really anything particular, though probably sort of is.
There is a concept called ``free writing''\todo{Get Wikipedia Reference
here.} where a person writes continuously for 15 minutes, or some other
period of time, with the pen never stopping.
While I've tried to do that, I've never found that it was anything
other than just a huge stressful ball of anxiety, because I kept,
``screwing up'' how I was doing this.
For me, this is to just write and feel free to stop and thing or
whatever whenever you want.
You may sit down with something on your mind. You may be writing
about your day (where I kind of started with this), or you may write
about some topic, or whatever.
The point for this for me, is it really doesn't have rules, except
for what you set out when you do it that particular time. And
really those rules are mostly, ``why am I sitting down to do this?''
I have found that this isn't that common for me any more, but I
feel it's actually a good place to start. Pick up a small notebook,
and just have it so you can fill it up with whatever you want.
You can do this as a daily practice, do it multiple times a day,
do it just whenever you think about it.
So, what about the other Script Writing thing?
\subsection{Script Writing}
This is a new thing that I've started to do. I started first with
doing this in a sketchbook, and sometimes do stuff similar to what
I did still.
Essentially this is something where we create document of an internal
dialogue, or maybe multiple parts talking, and trying to keep track of
who is saying what in that dialogue.
I have started to use the Stage document class, in \LaTeX, to write
some of these scripts.
The purpose and format are a bit related. For me, this is one
of the system mapping tools that I use. The specific tool that I
use isn't as important as finding something that works. The writing
in a sketchbook, or notebook, or whatever does work, and there is
nothing wrong with doing that, but I find that it also is a way that I
end up with something that ends up being a bit of a scribble, that I
don't really know what is said.
Which... Leads me to another how that I hadn't thought about...
Just scribbling.
\subsection{Just Scribbling}
This probably isn't quite the thing here. I guess this is a bit about
why I really like to do some of this in a physical, open format journal.
I haven't found a way on the computer that I can quickly switch between
writing a text thing that ends up being decently formatted, to being able
to throw a sketch, or formula in (well maybe a formula as I can do
something like):
\begin{figure}[htb]
$$\sum_{n=1}^{\infty} {n\over{n^2}}$$
\caption{I really have no idea what this ends up being.}
\end{figure}\todo{Find out
what this ends up summing to.}
(yes I looked up how to do that), in \LaTeX.
But I can easily switch when I'm using a pen/pencil on paper, to
whatever format I want, and it doesn't require any kind of mode
switching or loading anything up, it just happens.
So I could just throw something down that is very much just a
scribble, a ``ball of anxiety,'' and just sort of do that, or
do a sketch of an idea I'm trying to explain, or whatever.
\section{Conclusion (sort of)}
Well, that's been a heck of a lot, that I really did not expect
so I want to say that this actually was a little weird to write
up as a lot of the breaks were because things were bringing stuff
up, so yeah, take breaks, and enjoy your stuff.
I don't think this vaguely covers what I'd like to, but it
certainly is a thing, that I can work with.
I'd really love to write more about this whole topic, and probably
will, but right now, this is done. If you want to journal, just do
it. Don't spend your time trying to find the right way to do it,
don't spend your time finding the right journal to do it in. Just
do it.
If you find what you are doing, then change it. Or you might decide
just to stop, or set it aside and not worry about it.
Sure you'll get ideas from various sources. They are great, but
don't let them start to get in the way of just doing the thing.
And yes, that's a lot easier said than done for a lot of people,
including ourselves in the Datse Collective.

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\chapter{Are you going to sell this?}
This was {\it not} where I thought I was going to go next. I wasn't
really sure where I was going to go, but I had no idea that this was
going to be even here until I was looking at some zines on Etsy, and
thinking back to something that was asked about the journals that
I was making yesterday.
The friend who came over, asked if I was going to sell them, and to
be honest, I have thought about doing so, but really I don't feel that
is something that I really is something that I really am really able to
do.
There's several factors here. The journals are basically my own way of
trying to create something that will help make it easier for me to be
able to do what they are intended for (journaling).\todo{Journaling}
At the time I was creating them, I was tipping in pages to a purchased
notebook, and that was every week. It was a significant amount of
work every week just to prepare things for the week, and honestly, I
was feeling that was actually {\it easier} than what it was replacing.
I know the current version isn't handling that idea as well as I had
hoped that it would. I fully hoped to have it so that I would have
something, which could end up solving the whole situation with it.
It doesn't. What it does is gives me a basic replacement of the
purchased notebook, in a smaller (fewer pages and I guess slightly
smaller pages) format.
It's in a lot of ways still an improvement, as it is closer to what I
want, and I can just do some printing and assembling, with out having
to search for something that works, and I can customise them as I work
along with new versions.
What would they give to other people? Well, as something I have put
together, they would mostly be something that they would be buying
because it's a way to show support for me.
What I would rather do for people who might get these, is to have
them be supporting me to support me, and I could use this as
one of the things I might send them on a somewhat regular basis.
Now, this is a little different. There's something here that I feel is
of value in itself. The arguments I've stated above don't fully make
the, ``I probably won't sell this,'' answer as easy to understand.
There's a lot of other different things about why I can say that I
probably won't sell this. I'll start with some of the easier answers.
I'm likely to have trouble assembling them into something that I will
have enough of to really be able to justify selling them. I just don't
have the physical ability to regularly be doing the 2 hours that it
takes to assemble maybe 5-10 in a good efficiency time, and I really
also don't have the executive function to manage to sit down and do
that when I do the work when I do have the physical ability to do it.
Which also brings up yet another factor, which would be that I really
would need to have these (or the journals) be something like \$30.00
for a 40 page journal, if I was going to consider what I would need
to charge in order to ``live'' off of the sales.
Yes, it's a hand made item. Yes, that might get some people to feel
that it's really worth it. But a \$30.00 monthly journal is not
something I could justify spending myself even if it was perfect, and
I really had access to that kind of money.
This would probably be more like \$45.00 for a print version, if I were
to do so with the intention of paying for my time.
That is probably where the understanding ends up starting to diverging
from the easy to understand reasons, and more into some form of
cultural differences.
I live in a deeply individualistic society in Canada, where there are
some people try individually to create a more collectivist experience.
This is not as strong as it is in U.S.A. or I think U.K.. But as someone
who would really like to have a more collectivist world, it is difficult
to have people who aren't already there understand that is really even a
thing.
I have spent time in Finland where there's not a speck of garbage
around, or that was what it was like when I was in Finland. It's not
that there's all these rigid rules as to what you do with the garbage.
It is that when there's a question of, ``Will this harm others?'' or
``Will this benefit me?'' the balance is more in the not harming others.
The same thing when I spent time in Japan. My Japanese and my Finnish
are both rather low in being able to use it. French is pretty low as
well, and I spent a year in Montr\'eal Qu\'ebec, where there is a bit
of a perception that if you're not speaking French (less so than other
parts of the province) you can be treated rather poorly.
The thing I found in all these spaces, was that by my sense that I
am asking that they understand that I don't understand that well, but
being willing to work with them, I felt way more ``at home'' in all
these spaces, than I have in the vast majority of English speaking
spaces.
In related topic (and this is probably for another time)\todo{Write this
up}, I was asked where I was from in the city I live in, and have lived
in now for I think more than 40 years in total (and was born here).
No, it wasn't the, ``But where are you really from?'' type thing that
BIPOC people often report, but it did give me some sense of what that
experience is like.\todo{Where are you really from?}
So... Let's get back to where I was going... With a better
understanding that I'm not really in that capitalistic/individualistic
view that the, ``Will you be selling that?'' question seems to mostly
be coming from, the idea of getting this in the hands of people who can
afford to pay what it's worth, is a bit of an affront to my ideals.
I absolutely want to make sure this will get in the hands of the people
who I feel need to feel seen, and those are people who usually can't
afford to pay what this would be worth, and one way that I have addressed
that in the past (with digital goods), while still charging has been to
have ``community copies,'' which I do wish to continue even with physical
items.
I certainly want to be able to have this (and the journal), at a price
which feels like it is the price which the version would be fair in terms
of the time I put into it. I'd also like to say that those prices will
include prices which will allow community editions both in print and
digital.
Many artists, will sell stuff (even custom stuff), at a price that will
``allow them to continue to do the art,'' and this is very
understandable, that the main focus is to just be able to do what
they want to, but I feel it often ends up being a bit misguided.
Why? I feel it's two issues, but a big one is what I have seen about
how to price your work. I have attended workshops both for independent
business people (not for people who are in an MLM, or some other form
of contracting with a corporation so you can be an independent person
under their roof), and artists about how to price your work.
Some of this has gone into huge degrees of detail about it, which I have
to say works very well for some people, other situations have gone with
some idea of really very simple things, which also works for some people.
All of this pricing ends up with some sense that things are often priced
at a rate much higher than those that artists who just are trying to
make enough money to keep doing their art will price things at.
The one thing particularly from the artist perspective, has been that by
selling your work at a rate less than what it's worth, you end up
devaluing other similar work from other artists.
I feel this is true, though it feels that you can justify the idea of
giving your work away more easily than you can justify underpricing your
work. Especially if you are doing both pricing at a fair price, and
being able to somehow get stuff free.
So, I likely will be listing this as available for people who pay,
though probably pricing at a premium over what I feel it is worth,
and providing community copies to anyone who would like them (though
in somewhat limited numbers).